sprinkle wishing dust and ur wish will come true

end of 2010

2010-12-27T20:22:00.005+08:00

as 2010 looms and looms nearer to an end,i want this post to embody my feelings.if not at face-value,at the very least,i hope by blogging about it,i will get to be riverted back to the feeling once i read about it.

Alhamdulillah, i feel like i really belong to a family now.i know what it sounds like but after the trip to USS on 18th December with my family,i feel so much closer to them.it's a feeling which no one can rape me of.i love it so much.

2010 also saw me getting much closer to three of my gerls. they have been my pillar of strength and been there to guide me when i need them.thank you.

and salihin,thank you for everything.i still love you.and i cant believe that we got this far and we are still very much in love with US.Insya'Allah, we will last till the end of time.amin.

2010 was my Alevels year.and it was damn hard to get through.i remember always succumbing to depression and losing faith in myself but my family and friends helped me through.

thank you salihin for always pulling me back when i wanted to kill myself.and always reminding me that Allah will be angry at me if i do.

2010 opened my eyes to who i can trust and count on.no doubt,many people have hurt me but those who didn't,even if you do,after what has happened in 2010,i will not want to lose you.you have proved yourself worthy of being in my life.thank you.♥

it doesnt matter how i celebrate the end of 2010 or the beginning of 2011.

what matters to me is that i realise my mistakes and try to amend them.

insya'Allah,we can all be a much better person.

i love all those in my life.

i promise i will try to appreciate all those in my life more and be more appreciative of what i have in this life.

may Allah bless us till the end of time.Amin.

and with 2011,comes the 'end' of this blog.i will be writing all my thoughts in a diary rather than blogging it.

thank you,dear blog.i will always need you to look back on my life.

thank you for being there.so that i can reflect on my life.

♥ 5 more days to 2011 ♥

2010-12-22T17:33:00.002+08:00

i have a feeling that this is going to be a very very long post.

so brace urself if you are going to read it.

it's just this feeling.this sucky feeling that i hope someone can take away.

and i really someone will take it away cause if no one does,then i have this feeling that i am going to crumble inside and when i crumble inside,i will be a bitter person inside and that isnt fun at all.

maybe lack of sleep could attribute to this but i am strongly doubting so.

ok.

so here it goes.

someone did lift my spirits high.and i tot that it would last so i didnt embrace myself for the sudden toss from the air to the ground.i didnt have any safety blanket to catch me and it hurts so much.i was bruised after the fall.so badly bruised that i dare not stand up again.

but that's the thing.the thing is i stood up with my own two feet.watch myself being lifted into the air again and being thrown again.and i did nothing.

sore loser i am.

so what did i do? i became mean.i began pushing everyone away from me until i was certain no one could hear me cry or know that i was crying.tat way,no one will know what hurt me and they will not be able to hurt me.but i was wrong.

cause the more i did tat,the moment i trusted someone,i will tell them all my qualms about my life and i made myself more vulnerable which totally suck.and yes,if it isnt anymore obvious,i was hurt again.this time,i was not bruised.i merely broke one too many bones.

sometimes,i dont quite understand myself and i started to want things that i cant get and wonder how unfair this life can be.but then i just think of my religion and i am thnkful that i was born in this life but then......yes,it became a cycle.a mundane one.and the sad thing is,no one can liberate me from the cycle.

im stuck with it.like it or not.

it feels like i have to tell so many ppl what i want in order for them to understand what i truly want.and that is why i feel like no one knows me.but i dont blame them,really.cause at the end of the day,i too dont even know myself.but who cares.i mean seriously,in this 'dog eat dog' world,no one will actually sit down and help you solve ur problems so it's best if you too dont get too oppressed by their problems.

for one to say all this thing,it isnt nice.it isnt an act for sympathy.

im merely speaking my mind and if it sounds incoherent,pardon me.

but there is no doubt that what had happened in this life had actually contributed to this incoherent mind of mine.

mind of mine.

hahah.cheap thrill.

i wish i could just keep on talking and talking and not have to stop.

but that will only happen if i find someone who is actually willing to do one thing; stop and listen and care.

and oh ya,another thing.im too tired to even tell you that im sleepy.

goodnight.i shall head to bed now.

bye ♥

2010-12-19T20:04:00.004+08:00

there is something about nostalgia.

it's a feeling that you really can't describe.

neither can u place a finger on it.

right now,all im thinking about was yesterday.

when we had fun at USS.

Mummy,Cik Ati, Cik Afee and all.

i dont quite know why but seriously,this feeling is making me miss yesterday so much.

i am actually thinking what we were doing around this time yesterday (8.05pm)

maybe yesterday made me appreciate my mum even more.

and more than that,it made me realise the value of family and how lucky i am to have Salihin as my boyfriend.♥

2010-12-17T11:38:00.000+08:00

i love you so much baby!

2010-12-03T17:54:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder why the Earth is round.

other times, i wonder why I am so cute (:

♥ im tooo bored ♥

2010-12-02T14:46:00.000+08:00

A LEVELS ARE OVER!! NO MORE UNIFORM!! NO MORE SCHOOL (for now)!!

ALHAMDULILLAH!!!

2010-11-29T23:33:00.002+08:00

the immensity of resent that i have is too huge.

i feel like a munafik.

can anyone please tell Allah that i really am sorry for what i've done.

please.

tell Him i'm so terribly sorry for it.

that i will,if He gives me strength, change.

please.

im begging.

alhamdulillah

2010-11-29T13:58:00.002+08:00

as my Alevels looms closer and closer to an end,one thing is for sure; I'm really thankful to Allah for giving me the strength that i really need to overcome all the hardships that i faced this year.from being backstabbed by two 'friends' to being totally lost about who i really wanted to be.from the tests that felt like i was having my threshold level stretched to breaking down every single day.sounds inconsistent to why i should be thankful but i'm thankful that with all these, Allah brought me closer and closer to Him.

Allah gave me the strength of letting go two of my 'friends' and brought me 3 beautiful friends. Atiqah, Syaz and Hanis. the three angels that really made me realised the true meaning of friendship and tiq, you've made me realise the meaning of being a bestfriend.thank you sayang.and alhamdulillah, i really love all 3 of them.
thank you girls, for always being there for me and for being closer than any friends have ever been to me.for listening to my cryings every night and for making me laugh and angry at the same time but still being there to help me get through the day.thank you ♥

it's done.i've found my security blanket in the form of my 3 friends. and Allah provided it to me.
and insya'allah,Allah will help me from today onwards to bring me closer to Him.
Amin.

♥ i sayang you three.

harry isnt hairy

2010-11-29T13:05:00.004+08:00

and that is why i say ' i LOVE HARRY SHUM JR.'

he's too awesome.
too hot.
too cute.
too not mine.

oh who cares......
i still love HARRY SHUM JR!!

no no no!!

2010-11-28T23:11:00.002+08:00

hearing Ireland working on bail-out loans from IMF is very saddening.

it's basically worsening the Third World Debt Crisis and really, how will UN ever accomplish their MDG?

no bailout plz Ireland.

it's just tooo unbearable in this age.

what more,globalisation is too rampant.

Ireland! NO!

2010-11-28T13:23:00.002+08:00

you are a fat horrendous backstabbing person.
one day,you'll realise what you've done.
and that is when we will laugh at you.

who is

2010-11-27T19:24:00.004+08:00

Oh I was perfect
For the circus
If he dared me I'd do it
Love makes you stupid
I gave it up
But I guess it was not enough
'Cos he never seems satisfied

I know I'm not perfect
But at the end of the day
Who is?
He wanted someone that's perfect,
Okay.
But can you tell me who is?

He set the bar
Just above the stars
A rocket couldn't reach it
But I still kept on reaching
He watched me try
Atleast a thousand times
If he loved me he'd stop me,
But no

I saw something worth my future
So wrong, so wrong.
In my mind I was telling turn
But I guess I wasn't wrong

2010-11-27T19:07:00.001+08:00

you wanted out,you get it.

you aren't happy that i was trying to 'tailor to your needs'.

so be it.

it's done.

you're changing.im glad (:

2010-11-26T16:58:00.002+08:00

i miss you.i love you.

i can still see us at vivo with the sun-setting.

i can see us splashing water at each other at East Coast and hugging while laughing.

memories.

sweet memories.

and they are the ones who get me by each day.

on the other hand, Glee! season 2 episode 8 is a touching episode.

it's one that makes u realise who you have in your life and the value of friendships.

and definitely family and love.

and needless to say, in this episode, Harry Shum Jr was more out-there than he was before.he stood up for Kurt and was protective of Kurt.

this very scene proves one thing - if you care for someone,you should stand up for them and be loyal to them.

♥ maybe someday,it'll end ♥

LXD! :D

2010-11-25T22:17:00.002+08:00

FINALLY!!

my LXD t-shirt has arrived! yay!

and it costs $20.00 (although i'm not sure if it's in USD or SGD) but it's worth it.

wanna know why?

cause it's for a good cause.

When IC founder Jason Russell met "Step Up 2: The Streets" director Jon M.Chu studying film at USC, a friendship was born out of a mutual love of storytelling. And now, the blend of Jason's influence in philanthropy and Jon's in Hollywood has allowed these storytellers to bring their work to bigger and bigger stages.

The LXD Shirt is that next stage.

The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers (LXD) represent a crew of dancers with superhuman abilities, featured on the 2010 Academy Awards and www.lxd.com. These extraordinary artists are using their platform to raise awareness for IC, by selling this shirt exclusively through Invisible Children.

Made with 100% organic Ugandan cotton, The LXD shirt is made possible through our continued work with EDUN LIVE. With the LXD, profits are split and 50% goes to funding the Visible Child Scholarship Program, the MEND Purse Program and the Conservation Cotton Initiative. Each of these programs are detailed at www.invisiblechildren.com; each playing a role in revitalizing Uganda's economy and helping to end Africa's longest running war.

and how did i get to know about this awesome thing?

through Harry Shum Jr!!

he's one of the dancers,you see. (:

that aside, i hope that if you are reading this, you will find it in your heart to actually donate to help this great cause.

♥ no single person can change the world because everyone has a part to play in changing the world♥

i still get the thrills from you

2010-11-25T00:45:00.002+08:00

Each Time The Wind Blows
I Hear Your Voice So
I Call Your Name . . .
Whispers At Morning
Our Love Is Dawning
Heaven's Glad You Came . . .

You Know How I Feel
This Thing Can't Go Wrong
I'm So Proud To Say
I Love You
Your Love's Got Me High
I Long To Get By
This Time Is Forever
Love Is The Answer

I Hear Your Voice Now
You Are My Choice Now
The Love You Bring
Heaven's In My Heart
At Your Call
I Hear Harps,
And Angels Sing

You Know How I Feel
This Thing Can't Go Wrong
I Can't Live My Life
Without You

I Just Can't Hold On
I Feel We Belong
My Life Ain't Worth Living
If I Can't Be With You

I Just Can't Stop Loving You
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
And If I Stop . . .
Then Tell Me Just What
Will I Do

'Cause I Just Can't Stop
Loving You

At Night When The
Stars Shine
I Pray In You I'll Find
A Love So True . . .

When Morning Awakes Me
Will You Come And Take Me
I'll Wait For You

You Know How I Feel
I Won't Stop Until
I Hear Your Voice Saying
"I Do"

This Thing Can't Go Wrong
This Feeling's So Strong
Well, My Life Ain't
Worth Living
If I Can't Be With You

I Just Can't Stop Loving You
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
And If I Stop . . .
Then Tell Me, Just What
Will I Do

I Just Can't Stop Loving You

We Can Change All The World
Tomorrow
We Can Sing Songs Of
Yesterday

I Can Say, Hey . . .Farewell
To Sorrow
This Is My Life And I,
Want To See You For Always

♥ I JUST CANT STOP LOVING YOU SALIHIN♥

beeping mr salihin.mr salihin plz.

2010-11-24T23:51:00.002+08:00

SALIHIN! YOU STILL OWE ME A FRIGGING TEDDY BEAR!!!

BOOHOOHOO!

HOW COULD YOU BULLY ME??!!!

how?

2010-11-24T12:12:00.002+08:00

How do you keep the music playing?
How do you make it last?
How do you keep the song from fading too fast?
How do you lose yourself to someone?
And never lose your ways

How do you not run out of new things to say?

And since we’re always changing
How can it be the same?
And tell me how year after year
You’re sure your heart will fall apart
Each time you hear his name

I know the way I feel for you
It’s now or never
The more I love the more that i’m afraid
That in your eyes I may not see forever..
Forever…

If we can be the best of lovers
Yet be the best of friends
If we can try with everyday to make it better as it grows
With any luck, then I suppose
The music never ends
♥ thank you for the thrill

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

2010-11-22T17:07:00.003+08:00

Grenade by Bruno Mars:

Easy come, Easy go,
that's just how you live
oh, take take take it all,
but you never give.

Should've known you were trouble,
from the first kiss, had your eyes wide open,
why were they open?

Gave you what I had and you tossed it in the trash,
you tossed in the trash you did,
said give me all your love is all I ever asked, 'cos,
What you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for you
Throw my hand on a blade for you
Jump in front of a train for you
You know I'd do anything for you.

I'd go through all this pain,
take a bullet straight through my brain,
yes I would die for you baby,
but you won't do the same.

Black black, black and blue,
beat me 'till I'm numb,
tell the devil I said hey when you get back to where your from,
Mad woman, bad woman, that's just what you are,
yeah, you'd smile in my face,
then rip the brakes out my car.

If my body was on fire,
you'd watch me burn down in flames,
You said you loved me, you're the liar,
'cos you never, ever, ever did baby.

sums up my feelings.sorry.

oh no!!!

2010-11-18T22:30:00.003+08:00

the prospect of getting married is scary!
and it's worst when someone you really don't expect actually propose to you and tried to deny it by simply saying 'haha.'
oh ya Allah.
what is the world coming to?

really.i kid you not.
getting married is scary and i will never be ready for it.
not in a million years!

♥ Harry Shum Jr is so hot when he dances. Heather Morrison is so hot when she dougies.

contemplations

2010-11-14T10:53:00.003+08:00

i seriously have no idea why i'm being tied down to something that is hurting me and is a big waste of time.
it frustrates me
and all i wanna do is breakdown.

2010-11-08T17:32:00.002+08:00

tomorrow's the beggining.
then on the 2nd of december, marks the last day i will have to ever wear a school uniform.
insya'allah.

Dear Allah,
i really need your blessing from today forth.
i need strength and i need peace.
i need reassurance that everything will be well.
most of all, Allah, i hope you will give me your guidance and the health i need.
cause i've realised and have submerged to the fact that without you Allah, im no one.
that without you Allah,everything is nothing for you Allah, can take everything that you have given to me and reduce it to ashes within matter of milliseconds.
but thank you Allah.for everything.
for giving me a beautiful family and gorgeous friends to aid me in my times of need on this un-eternal world.
for giving me this life where without it, i would have never been so blessed.
for being my solace when all things crumble.

♥ Khairiyah

boys II men - on bended knees

2010-09-12T19:01:00.002+08:00

Darling i, I can't explain,
Where did we lose our way,
'girl it's driving me insane.
And I know I just need one more chance,
To prove my love to you.
And if you come back to me,
I'll guarantee,
That i'll never let you go.

Can we go back to the days
Our love was strong.
Can you tell me how
A perfect love goes wrong.
Can somebody tell me
How to get things back,
The way they used to be.
Oh god, give me the reason,
I'm down on bended knee.

I'll never walk again,
Until you come back to me,
I'm down on bended knee.

So many nights I dream of you.
Holding my pillow tight I know,
That I don't need to be alone.

When I open up my eyes,
To face reality,
Every moment without you,
It seems like eternity.
I'm begging you, begging you come back to me.

Baby, i'm sorry,
Please forgive me for all the wrong i've done.
Please come back home girl.
I know you put all your trust in me,
I'm sorry I let you down.
Please forgive me.

I'm gonna swallow my pride,
Say i'm sorry,
Stop pointing fingers,
The blame is on me.
I want a new life,
And I want it with you.
If you feel the same,
Don't ever let it go.

You gotta believe in the spirit of love,
It will heal all things,
Won't hurt any more.
No I don't believe our love's terminal.
I'm down on my knees,
Begging you please,
Come home.

Wanna build a new life,
Just you and me.
Gonna make you my wife,
Raise a family.

angles without wings

2010-09-07T00:56:00.002+08:00

let me break it down.

this guy is awesome.

but you know who else is awesome?

my sayangs, namely Syazwani, Atiqah, Hafeeza and Hanis.

all of them are my baby-s!

and i swear.

i cn nvr see my life without anyone of them.♥

betrayed beautifully.

2010-09-05T19:33:00.003+08:00

a broken heart.

alone again,naturally.

too soon

2010-08-26T19:55:00.002+08:00

it saddens me suddenly.it's coming too soon.

a farewell and tears.

♥

inside out

2010-08-03T18:40:00.007+08:00

The biggest lie you ever told
Your deepest fear 'bout growin' old
The longest night you ever spent
The angriest letter you never sent

The boy you swore you'd never leave
The one you kissed on new year's eve
The sweetest dream you had last night
Your darkest hour, your hardest fight

I wanna know you
Like I know myself
I'm waitin' for you
There ain't no one else

Talk to me baby
Scream and shout
I wanna know you
Inside out

I wanna dig down deep
I wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout
I wanna know you inside out

I wanna take my time
I wanna know your mind
You know there ain't no doubt
I wanna know you inside out

The saddest song you ever heard
The most you said with just one word
The loneliest prayer you ever prayed
The truest vow you ever made

What makes you laugh, what makes you cry?
What makes you mad, what gets you by?
Your highest high, your lowest low
These things I wanna know

I wanna know your soul
I wanna lose control
C'mon n' let it out
I wanna know you inside out

♥ you know i love you,right?

trademarked.

2010-08-01T21:41:00.003+08:00

dear Salihin,
i love you more than the trees love the sun.
more than the bees love the flowers.

i can't be separated from you
like the ocean and the shore.
like the nails and the flesh.

we will never be parted
like the sky and the sea.
or the moon and the sun.

we are as one.
and that is why,
ur mine.
-khairiyah-

and to all who made my 19th birthday a memorable one,im so thankful.
i really love you all.
more than words itself.

2010-07-29T18:11:00.000+08:00

romario came over to school.lol.
it was awesome.
bye.

my baby you.

2010-07-25T19:14:00.002+08:00

♥Let's take a walk together near the ocean shore
Hand in hand you and I
Let's cherish every moment we have been given
The time is passing by
I often pray before I lay down by your side
If you receive your calling before I awake
Could I make it through the night

Cherish the love we have
We should cherish the life we live
Cherish the love
Cherish the life
Cherish the love we have
For as long as we both shall live

The world is always changing
Nothing stays the same
But love will stand the test of time
The next life that we live in
Remains to be seen
Will you be by my side♥

i'm trying

2010-07-18T16:23:00.003+08:00

to smile is

the most apt thing to do

even when u are down and doubtful.

than k you!

2010-07-17T19:33:00.002+08:00

to all who made a difference in my life.one way or another.
Hi! My name is Khairiyah.♥ and i'm awesome.

6 peaches and 1 herb

2010-07-08T21:26:00.002+08:00

I was a fool to ever leave your side
Me minus you is such a lonely ride
The breakup we had has made me lonesome and sad
I realize I love you 'cause I want you bad

I spent the evening with the radio
Regret the moment that I let you go
Our quarrel was such a way of learnin' so much
I know now that I love you 'cause I need your touch

Reunited and it feels so good
Reunited 'cause we understood
There's one perfect fit
And, sugar, this one is it
We both are so excited 'cause we're reunited

I sat here starin' at the same old wall
Came back to life just when I got your call
I wished I could climb right through the telephone line
And give you what you want so you will still be mine

I can't go cheatin', honey, I can't play
I found it very hard to stay away
As we reminisce on precious moments like this
I'm glad we're back together 'cause I missed your kiss

Lover, lover, this is solid love
And you're exactly what I'm dreamin' of
All through the day
And all through the night
I'll give you all the love I have with all my might

♥ exactly 4 more months to Alvls ♥

take a look at me now.

2010-07-02T21:26:00.002+08:00

why love

when you can't even love yourself?

my dictionary says:

2010-06-29T15:39:00.012+08:00

'i love you' and 'i miss you',
synonyms of two hearts.
two lives,merge as one.
two souls entwined into one.
two vows and two 'i promise you forever.'
simply means together forever
for two infinities and beyond.

two.definitely better than one.

my dictionary says all the above.what does yours say?

s o l o

2010-06-27T19:32:00.002+08:00

do you know that you are the only one?

the only one i trusted fully and the only one i entrusted my heart and feelings to?

so much so that when it comes to hurting me,you are at an advantage?

do you know that you are the only one?

so kiss me and smile for me.

2010-06-23T20:30:00.002+08:00

an everlasting smile.

an everlasting kiss.

an everlasting hug.

your presence in my life will be an everlasting one.

even if one day, you might not be mine anymore.

i love you.

you've been crafting smile onto my face these past few days and my heart was able to sing again.

thank you.

for everything.for being my everything and making me your everything.

i swear.

i mean it. you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and i would trade the world for a minute with you alone.

till the end of time, i will kiss and hug you.

should you feel insecure, know that i promise myself to you till the end of time,baby.

my everything is you,love

2010-06-22T21:31:00.002+08:00

this long journey may rip my soul.

may burn my throat.

may cut my limbs.

but my promise will always linger till the end of time.

this i promise you.

the long bus ride did wonders to our souls,didnt it? it bonded us beyond our expectation and we realised that that was the moment.a moment of a lifetime.

after 25months, i can safely say that you are one hell of a keeper and that i will never let you go.

i will never hurt you ever again and that if should my life be taken, my love for you will never be faltered.

and still, Shania Twain's song seems to be the most apt song.

"In your arms I can still feel the way you
want me when you hold me
I can still hear the words you whispered
when you told me
I can stay right here forever in your arms

And there ain't no way
I'm lettin' you go now
And there ain't no way
and there ain't not how
I'll never see that day.

'Cause I'm keeping you
forever and for always
We will be together all of our day
Wanna wake up every
morning to your sweet face.always.

In your heart,I can still hear
a beat for every time you kiss me
And when we're apart,
I know how much you miss me
I can feel your love for me in your heart

In your eyes,I can still see
the look of the one who really loves me
The one who wouldn't put anything
else in the world above me

I can still see love for me in your eyes

I'm keeping you forever and for always
I'm in your arms."

♥ I LOVE YOU,SALIHIN! ♥

is your side deep?

2010-06-18T11:58:00.002+08:00

She aint for me, You're the one I need
She was a model chick, pretty thick, in them jeans
Walking out the store on 25th, excuse me.
Can I tell you what my name is?
You look like the kind a girl I wanna get with.
She ask, what kind of car I drive.
I said the V12
The all white with the chrome and keep it detailed.
And I thought that she was the one for me
To please her I started actin' differently
But when I met you,
I felt like I could be myself
You, showed me lovin' like nobody else
You, I never had to ask for nothin'
You, with her it seemed like it was always somethin'

Now I know the choice that I should've made,
Should of been with you what else can I say.
So would you be with me?
I'll be yours eternally

She may have what I want
But your the one I need
She may look like them girls in the video
But you're the one for me
I used to think she was so fly
But if you ask why,
I'm with her couldn't tell you why
And its so clear to see
She aint for me, cause you're the one I need

You told me before, I didn't listen
Said that she was playing around, but wouldn't pay attention
I tried to make it look that we was doing fine,
I didn't wanna tell myself, I wasted so much time

Now I know the choice that I should've made,
Should of been with you, what else can I say?
So will you be with me?
I'll be yours eternally.

From the bottom of my heart,
I will make a change, I swear I won't put no one else before you this time
I wanna make a brand new start
So please don't walk away
I'm not in love with her, and all that really matters is you
is you, is you.

i've made a final vow.

2010-06-17T22:38:00.000+08:00

Been there done that messed around,
I'm having fun don't put me down
I'll never let you
sweep me off my feet.

I won't let you in again,
The messages I've tried to send,
My information's just not going in.

Burning bridges shore to shore,
I'll break away from something more
I'm not to not to love
until it's cheap.

Been there done that messed around
I'm having fun don't put me down,
I'll never let you
sweep me off my feet.

This time baby I'll be bulletproof,
This time baby I'll be bulletproof.

I won't let you turn around
And tell me now I'm much too proud
To walk away from something
when it's dead.

Do do do your dirty words
Come out to play when you are heard
There's certain things
that should be left unsaid.

Tick tick tick tick on the watch
And life's too short for me to stop
Oh baby, your time is running out.

I won't let you turn around
And tell me now I'm much too proud
All you do
is fill me up with doubt.

This time baby I'll be bulletproof,
This time baby I'll be bulletproof.
This time baby I'll be bulletproof,
This time baby I'll be bulletproof.

This time I'll be bulletproof
This time I'll be bulletproof
This time I'll be bulletproof

the cranberries is awesome!

2010-06-08T19:23:00.002+08:00

lets run to a funfair and scream and chase each other like 8 year olds.
then go in rounds on a carousel ride and experience an adrenaline rush with viking.
get candy floss and popcorns and a big teddy bear as a souvenier.
enter a photo booth and snap pictures of us making stupid faces.
and as the sun sets,
we will cycle back home.

ode to you,sweet love.
you've got me all high and mighty.
and now i'm drowning back in love with you.

2010-06-03T19:16:00.003+08:00

i wanted to scream but i vetoed against it.

i wanted to cry but Charlie Chaplin keeps ranting in my head.

so i decided to let it be.

for u wanted it so badly and now u can have it.

happy now?

♥ NGLP CAMP WAS TOO DARN AWESOOOME ♥

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NSzwflkF3w

2010-05-28T13:20:00.007+08:00

You Are The Love Of My Life
I knew it right from the start
The moment I looked at you
You found a place in my heart

You Are The Love Of My Life
You give me reason to live
You taught me how to be strong
With you is where I belong

No one's ever touched me
Quite the way you touched me
People search a life time
To find what we have

You Are The Love Of My Life
One thing that's good in this life
I'll spend the rest of my days
Just loving you

You Are The Love Of My Life
The heart and soul of my life
Once I was lost and alone
With you at last I am home

You Are The Love Of My Life
You give me reason to live
You give me so much of you
And leave me room to be free

No one's ever touched me
Quite the way you touched me
People search a life time
To find what we have

You Are The Love Of My Life
One thing that's good in this life
And in a world full of change
One thing I'm sure of

You Are The Love Of My Life
The one thing that makes sense in this world
I'll spend the rest of my days
Just loving you

You Are The Love Of My Life
And I thank GOD I'm alive
To spend my lifetime with you
You Are The Love Of My Life

♥ 2yrs and 1 week. still mine. ♥

for all the nights tat we fought and cursed each other.

and all the anger which we assumed it to be hatred,

i still love you.

we don't even know the true meaning of a breakup.

cos everytime we say it,we don't even mean it.

it's like wat you told me everytime;

that we said it in the heat of the moment.

and i want it to be that way.

cos indeed you are the love of my life,if u havent noticed.

and i love you.

we might not be meeting during the June holidays but know this.

the very essential fact tat you stayed up at night to wait for my call so we can talk before going to sleep

and wake up every morning to tell me that you love me

and tat you miss me.

my heart always skipped a beat.

i do feel like tearing,just thinking about the gruelling periods without u.

but i swear,no one had motivated me so much to want to be strong and to convince myself that it is ok to be strong.

only until 2nd december,right baby?

cos once ur As ends,it will b your turn to wait for a week before i end mine.

and you will wait right?

and wait in december again for me to get back from overseas to be with you.right?

for i love you,papa.

and i always have.

and i always will.

on a side note, i want to meet my babitches. tiq and syaz.

i miss you both so much.

congrats on being accepted into uni.

insya'allah,i will join u guys next year.

amin (:

i love salihin

2010-05-15T21:27:00.003+08:00

i love you,baby.
6 more days to 2 yrs.
and i still love you,my dear.
despite u hurting me and me hurting you.
we both know that if we hold on together.
things will in the end,insya'allah,triumph for us.

i love you baby.
so much.

sycophant

2010-04-25T21:00:00.005+08:00

being in a constant beleaguerment is so tiring.
my heart almost wished it could be an advocate.

but i gave up in a nycthemeron.

on cloud nine and staying.

2010-04-09T20:51:00.002+08:00

im feeling so light-headed.
i can't breathe.
i can't sleep.
i can't eat and i can't smile.
im feeling so lost.
i hope it wont end.

cos what im feeling simply reassures me that i am still in love
and i feel so blessed.

I L♥VE YOU.

too mouthful for the huge

2010-04-09T00:02:00.003+08:00

when you wake up,smile.

for you have an extra day to love all the littlest things in life.

for you have one more day to forgive and forget.

one more day to prove to the world just who you really are.

and one more day to set things right.

one more day to love.

love with your heart.

show someone how much you love him/her.

quit the shoutings and the scoldings and the yanking.

amplify the huggings and the kissings and the eye-gazing.

dont stop on the 'i love you'-s and 'i miss you'-s.

for you have no idea

just how much one little act of love can have a big impact on someone who is insignificant in this world.

♥ i still love you ♥

2010-04-06T20:11:00.002+08:00

life is hard.
have your say.

ive changed my blog skin although i pretty much know ive screwed up my revision time.
but i have this obsession of making things look nice on the fascade.
i have no idea why.
i still have all the blog links though.
azrina, if you are reading this,pls sms me ur blog address,love.
i wanna link you.

thnks.
i love you.
and my class is fun. (:

u-me=blue

2010-03-27T23:44:00.002+08:00

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something
Cause everything you do
And words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And I am left with nothing

So maybe its true
That I cant live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
Cause when i close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

♥im in love with Tiq,Azrina and Syaz.yeah.im bi-sexual. hot enough for u? hahahha.im disturbed..

a fu

2010-03-19T01:24:00.003+08:00

here is a quick shoutout to the guy above.

in advance,happy 22nd monsarry,love.

but

i want you to know that since the day we became close frens to the days where i pronounced you as my best fren cum abg angkat,you have been the reason for my laughters.

till now,i still find you to be the one i truly love.

the one that i truly belong to and the one that i truly want for life.

i cld have nvr wished for a more perfect life than this.

with caring and loving frens,a harmonious family and a great boyfren,

this life will be a breeze,insya'allah.

also,taking As might be smooth-for now.

thnk you,Salihin,

for all the wonderful things that you are.

i love you.

and i definitely love my babitches and family.

♥me

read my eyes.

2010-03-07T22:38:00.002+08:00

a drizzle which turned into a downpour.

a downpour which turned into a thunderstorm.

and a thunderstorm which flooded the eyes.

i guess it proves one thing.

no matter what happens and no matter how badly you hate your partner when you both are in a huge fight, you just wish you hadnt cursed him.or better yet,rant it out on your frens in hope of making him the bad one.

funny how,

after all the hurts,

you swore to never forgive him.

but when he hugs you, you succumb to the warmth.

and tell yourself that just this once,

you will allow him to hurt you.

funny how,

it has always been one time too many.

how to tell him?

will he forgive me?

all those questions running through my mind

as i looked far into a future,possibly without him.

let's fight!

2010-02-23T23:47:00.001+08:00

Too much of anything can make you sick
Even the good can be a curse.
Makes it hard to know which road to go down
Knowing too much can get you hurt.

Is it better? Is it worse?
Are we sitting in reverse?
It's just like we're going backwards.

I know where I want this to go
Driving fast but lets go slow
What I don't wanna do is crash,no.

Just know you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me that you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start.

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's' worth having, it's worth fighting for.

Now everyday ain't gon' be no picnic
Love aint a walk in the park
All you can do is make the best of it now
Can't be afraid of the dark.

♥ i love you still ♥

buckcherry sang sorry.what's your song?

2010-02-21T23:03:00.004+08:00

the tenderness of your kiss.

the warmth of your hug.

the sweetness of your smile.

the joy of your presence.

it all ended yesterday.

too abruptly.

shattered and tormented.

bittered and abused.

but today,on our 21st,

the tenderness of your kiss,

the warmth of your hug,

the sweetness of your smile

and the joyfulness in your presence

ushered in an answer to my question.

your arms around me in the bus

and the gentle strokes you planted as you caressed my hair,

brought back memories of what we used to be.

a qn answered but another surfaced.

for the new qn to be answered,

time will be the guide.

i love you too,salihin.

i still do love you 2 times more everyday,

if you are wondering.

cause if you are still wondering how i could forgive you,

know that i am still holding on.

for what it is worth.

♥ maybe i just want the old you back ♥

poems and me

2010-02-20T21:04:00.002+08:00

friends are the littlest things in life which cheer u up when u are down.

they are there through it all and will never leave u alone.

i have this friend who loves to write poem. (:

and my fren has graciously written for me a poem.

yes.my fren is crazy.

but i like my fren (:

The A's are coming!
JC students better run!
instead here's a lil lady,
who wants to find the One.

She loves to be retro,
she loves the evergreens,
the rhythmic beats,
ageless as it seems..

So here is miss khairiyah,
with a smile so sweet,
if she smiled any sweeter,
might get diabetes if we meet.

♥ u made me smile ♥

14022010

2010-02-16T02:34:00.004+08:00

valentine's day or i would like to call it 'our 21st month advance celebration'
pedro shoes hurt me ):
but it's ok.baby was so nice to rush to find plasters and to carry me.
he literally sweep me off my feet.

it was a romantic evening getaway,baby.
the o'so romantic candlelight/tealight dinner.
and the buffet which is still present in my tummy now and causing me to have a very very big tummy,is simply awesome.

no werds can express the gratitude i am containing inside.
i swear.u gave me more reasons to love us.

uncool picture of our table.

remembered the need for a pic after eating.hehhs.

HIM!

ME!

♥ red rose + candlelight dinner + my sayang = love ♥

history at its peak.

2010-02-13T02:25:00.001+08:00

watch Hotel Rwanda.
if it doesnt trigger ur emotions,
you are simply heartless.

help?

2010-02-11T15:23:00.001+08:00

something is wrong with us.

somewhere.

but i have no idea where.

i wanna sleep,o'so pwetty pweeze!!

2010-02-02T20:34:00.004+08:00

no time no time. am i being too scared or paranoid?

MBT is in a month's time or thereabout and my revision schedule is packed.
if that isn't bad enough, receiving Bio's SOW felt like a nuclear bomb exploding above my head.

but all that still didnt manage to wake me up,literally.
i slept for 30 mins during my recess cos i was so shagged.
and thank god tomorrow's wednesday.and wednesdays=late day. for now.

but still,my eyes are hurting and my legs are getting more weak.
my appetite is growing! i ate fish nuggets and chicken nuggets and baked curry puff and KFC but i guess they were released after the liberation of self-propagated methane into the air,leaving me with a stomach yanking my need to study to hunt for food.naughty naughty stomach!

but yes,life is getting better.the stress will be temporary but the glory lasts forever.lol.

ok.got to go feed this mind of mine or else the stress hormones wont subside till i get some chem/maths/bio/history/current affairs for it.

yes people.be afraid.cos in less than 9 months,the beast is arriving.
and in less than 9 months,we will be graduating.

chi-squared

2010-01-29T13:07:00.002+08:00

an article that i read on yahoo.it got me wondering.i know i should be mugging but everyone deserves a break now and then,right?

Some people say they "just knew" that they were dating their future spouse. But what about the rest of us? What happens when you're not sure if he's The One? If you're considering long-term commitment or marriage, it's time to ask yourself some tough questions. Below, 10 signs that may indicate he's not for you.

1. You have a list of things he needs to stop doing/saying/wearing if he wants your relationship to work. If you're fixating on his flaws, he's either not the one you want or you're not ready for a serious relationship. Cutting him loose allows you time to grow and gives you the opportunity to meet a guy whose flaws you can embrace -- or at least accept.

2. You don't trust him. A small dose of jealousy can be healthy, but if you're hacking into his email account, and going berserk when he goes out without you, something's wrong. If there's something about him that truly warrants your distrust, then perhaps he's not the right one for you.

3. You avoid conflict at any cost. Fighting is healthy. And, when done right (in the non-accusatory, rational sort of way), it can be a great way to air grievances, fix problems in your relationship, and come to a deeper understanding of each other. Ignoring problems is not the same as having no problems at all... even if it looks that way.

4. When you're sad, you don't turn to him for comfort. When you're a giant ball of tears and snot, do you lock yourself into the bathroom so he can't see you at your worst? If you're worried about scaring him away, one of you isn't ready for total commitment. Mr. Right should make you smile through your tears and be a calming, not stressful, presence.

5. One of you is struggling with an addiction. He's sweet. He's exciting. He loves you very much. But he loves his alcohol habit or his weekly gambling fix more. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you can change him or that your relationship will be strong enough to withstand the heartache that addiction will inevitably bring. An addict may be able to change, but he'll do so on his own terms.

6. You can't really imagine him as the father of your children. Ask yourself: Would he make a great parent? Is he financially responsible? Would he be an equal partner in your future together? If you have doubts, he's probably not the one.

7. Your long-term, non-negotiable goals in life are incompatible. You want kids; he doesn't. You go to church every week; he's an atheist. He lives in the country and doesn't want to move; you can't imagine ever leaving the city. Superficial differences can be overcome, but differences in basic values are harder to smooth over. Ask yourself: "Would I be willing to compromise on this?" If the answer is absolutely not, you may not be right for each other.

8. You don't respect each other. He puts you down in front of your friends and complains about you to his parents. You roll your eyes when he talks because there's just something about him that embarrasses you. A relationship without respect can't sustain itself.

9. You're not attracted to him. Physical intimacy is a hugely important component of a romantic relationship. If he doesn't do it for you, he's probably not your best long-term match.

10. On paper he seems great, but you have this strange feeling... Don't ignore your gut. You may get along on a superficial level, but if your instincts are telling you he's not the one for you, listen. That little voice inside your head does not lie.

told you it got me questioning already.

poshie love

2010-01-24T21:44:00.006+08:00

as close as dreams are to the eyes,u are tat close to my heart.

excitement is surging through my veins! posh-ness is surging through my heart! i love this life.yes i do! although this excitement will end when the workpile starts piling,please let me splurge in this for just a moment or two.

everyone needs a breather,here and there.

my feet wants me to jump and my heart wants me to scream but it is being silenced by my mouth.haha.i am that excited! yes.oh my goshy! i cant wait!

yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pedro!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! dinner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

♥ i want that day to come! ♥

the best there is

2010-01-20T23:13:00.005+08:00

i love this pic.it sooo funny.hehhs.

somehow,meeting babitches today was really refreshing.i was able to take a breather and just laugh my head off.im sry if ive offended you guys.but seriously,ive never had this much fun since the december last year.with all the depression going on,they are my saviours.thnk you sayangs.

if i had to choose between babitches or any guy,

my gerls win. hands down!

cause i love them more than any dark chocolates in the world.

babes,kita kawan sejati. (:

♥ babitches.BFsFL.

air supply is love!

2010-01-18T19:26:00.002+08:00

Air Supply.
yes,still crazy about them.and will always be.

their new album is coming out and im counting down to the day! D-DAY!! i can't wait!
im not sure if they will be coming to Singapore this year though but i sure as hell am wishing they would and i would grab the front seats! i will! trust me!

Dance With Me.Air Supply's #1 track from their new album is awesome.seriously.
it is just a preview but it sure is nice.
and i can safely say that they are still rocking.

rock on Air Supply!
I LOVE YOU BOTH!!!

2010.school.life.

2010-01-16T10:35:00.002+08:00

i can't believe that i've survived 5 days of school.the weekends doesn't seem to be my refuge from school but i'm glad it came anyway. so,happy new year everyone! i know it's late but one week before school started,i was determined to have fun like it was as if my life was going to be ripped out of me when school begins.

so i was on IVLE when i saw the announcements. chem department was reminding us about our weekly MCQ quiz.Ms Sarina was reminding us about the timeline and our class charter.and so many other things were happening.but what really grabbed my attention was the announcement posted by Maths Department.here it goes:

>>This morning, I have given an introduction to my three-part series of “Living a Life-Transforming Year” for 2010. I will be sharing this first instalment of this three-part series on “Believing in Yourself” during my second lecture tomorrow.

I believe everyone is aware that this year is an important year for you. We believe that this year will indeed be a great year for every one of you. But no matter how great our belief is, you need to start believing in yourself. You need to believe that this is a year in which you are going to experience a life-transforming year for yourself. How great this year would be solely depends on how much is your belief. So, the greater your belief is, the better this year would be for you. This is the power of “thought”. Every one of us have been given a powerful tool - our brains. You will be surprised and amazed by how powerful your brain is. All you need to do is to exercise this power in order to experience a transformation in your life.

As mentioned during my first lecture, conventional wisdom suggests that most people can only believe in something when it happens. But this morning, I have urged every one of you to try to change your mindset and look from another perspective. I encourage you to have a transformed mind to start believing in something even before it actually happen. You need to start believing in yourself that you can do well for your “A” levels even before you step into the exam hall. At this point in time, you need to decide for yourself whether or not to take this huge step of faith.

No matter how much we believe that every one of you has the ability to get an A grade for this subject. No matter how much effort your teachers are going to pour into your life. No matter how much conviction we had in our heart. In the end, the only reason why you are not going to do well is the lack of your belief. The point that I am trying to make here is you wouldn’t do well in this subject if you don’t even believe in yourself that you will do well in it. Sadly, this lack of belief is the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone. This lack of belief is like a virus which will eventually destroy a person’s life.

All we ever hope for is to witness every one of you growing up to become adults who will eventually make a huge impact in the lives of the people around you. Being a Meridian, you are not just an ordinary student who come here, study for two years and leave this place. No words can describe how important you are to the college. You are not only just representing your college. You are, in fact, an Ambassador and a living testimony for your college. The public sees the college through your lives. So you need to start believing in yourself and live your life to the best of your ability to live up the name of your college. Every one of you here is destined for great achievements. The reputation of your college can only be built up when you start believing in yourself today and live your lives to your fullest potential.

We would like to tell you that we sincerely believe that every one of you has the ability and will eventually do well for this subject. So start believing in yourself today.

I will be sharing this second installment of this three-part lecture series entitled, “Beware of Robbers”.

I believe that you encounter many people who tell you to work hard this year because for the simple fact that you are taking the A levels this year. When you are at home, your parents tell you to study hard. When you are in school, your teachers even took the trouble to explain to you the importance of working hard. But I always ponder over this question, “Why do students still not do well for their exam despite so many people telling them to work hard?” If this “by telling you to work hard” strategy really works, there is no need for me to go through this lecture series at all.

For those who constantly fail to perform during exam a result of their lack of preparation? Or is it due to their lack of belief in themselves? Or could it be the fact that they fail to see the importance of their education? Or could it simply be their lack of desire to succeed? My greatest fear is for any student to have this kind of self-destructive unbelief. No matter how much effort they put in, if they fail to believe that they can do well, then they can never succeed.

“The secret of making something work in your lives is, first of all, the deep desire to make it work: then the faith and belief that it can work: then to hold that clear definite vision in your consciousness and see it working out step by step, without one thought of doubt or disbelief.”

So do you have faith in your ability that you can do well? If you do not have faith and believe that you can do it, then you have already lost more than half the battle even before you step into the exam hall. Losers always whine about how they have tried their best. Winners are the ones who still think that there is room for improvement even after winning. Don't let this “unbelief” rob you away from experiencing a great year!

Another major obstacle that will “rob” us from experiencing a life-transforming year is our pride. “Pride comes before a fall.” The moment we think so highly of ourselves, the moment we think that we are better than everyone else; we will never be able to improve because we will just be limited by our current abilities. The moment we think we have achieved so much in our life; it will be the moment that we lose our desire of wanting to achieve more. That will be the beginning of our downfall. Throughout history, many heroes have to have some kind of flaws that will eventually lead to their downfall. Let us hope that we do not let our pride lead us to this undesirable state.

The way to experience breakthroughs in our lives is never to allow ourselves to be so proud that we shortchange ourselves with the huge potential of growth. If we allow ourselves to be humble and not think that we are better than others, we will naturally be able to continue to strive towards improving ourselves to achieving excellence.

“Humility is the ability to give up your pride and still retain your dignity.” If we choose to remain humble at all times despite our successes and achievements, we will be able to experience much more successes in time to come. Eventually, the final decision, of whether to experience this transformation in our lives, resides in us. We are the only ones who can decide for ourselves if we want to make that choice to remain humble at all times.

“We have come nearest to great when we are great in humility.”

“Humility makes great man twice honourable.”

“True humility is intelligent self respect which keeps us from thinking too highly or too meanly of ourselves. It makes us modest by reminding us how far we have come short of what we can be.”

“Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance.” >>

and now,i am waiting for the 3rd part.i wonder why.perhaps it's true.because just 10 minutes before i read this motivational speech,i was in the lift feeling scared and telling myself that i am too far from reaching my dream.and i even started recalling the song 'THE CLIMB' by miley cyrus.especially the part where she sang 'but there's a voice inside of me saying,U'll never reach it.'

i dunno how true is tat for anyone of u.but it is so true for me.and right now,i know i am panicking.but i plan on just doing it slowly.because if i am steady,only then will i reach that finish line with a big smile on my face.insya'allah.amin.

my decisions are the causes of my mishaps

2009-12-29T11:57:00.007+08:00

the toughest decision you will ever have to make is when to give up and when to try harder.

i just want things to be nice for me.
for once.

♥ two gerls call themselves frens when they haven't been acting like one ♥

office work is funny.seriously.

2009-12-28T17:53:00.003+08:00

only 9 more minutes until my mum knocks off from her work. and im with her right now,in her office,at her desk,using her computer.haha.cool shit.

just only called Salihin.we were both sleepy but after being on fone,i cant deny that i was refreshed.not sure about him but im sure i am.

bio is a bitch.seriously.
pardon my course language but it really is getting onto my nerves.

ok.i super cant wait for the 31st!
lunch with cousin and her fiance and then 'bonfire'.
only 4 more days till new year,baby.
i so cant wait!

self-reflection will b a bitch for me.
i will have this compelling desire to scream but self-reflection is a must.
i hope i can truly reflect or self-reflection will just be redundant.

ok.gg home real sooon..
yay yay!
and i am meeting my sayang soon!!

i-love-you-and-you

2009-12-26T05:39:00.007+08:00

i love you,baby.

funny how four simple words could change my world.
and even when i am downright mad at you,i will reply with a 'i love you too,dear.'

the perks of being in a relationship?
you have someone to keep you warm in the cold night.
the downs?
how could there ever be downs when you are with your better half?

he bought for me a charm bracelet! SK Jewellery! you are so fucking sweet like seriously!
you make me smile (:

on the other hand,
as much as i love babitches,i am kind of pissed off with them.
not the hurl vulgarities kind of pissed off.the im angry but i have to be understanding but i am so hurt kind of thing.
i simply have no idea what happened to the pact.
thinking about it makes me wish i had nvr taken the pact seriously.
before their As 'heyya,we will spend time with you after our As.'
after As 'oh.......(silence)'
i might be exaggerating but you get my drift.goodness! ive waited for you guys to finish ur As so that i could spend time with you guys! and this is wat i get?
the pact was for us to meet once every month.i have yet to meet syaz for god-knows-how-long.
i am soooo friggin pissed off..

that aside,
i have been making a new close fren these past few days.
i shall just label him as my sayang.and no,he isnt my scandal.i still love salihin and will always.
so anyways,this dude i know right here is a fren like no other! he and Salihin,put together,is like the epitome of massacre for innocent minds.seriously!
and i so cant wait for countdown!a bonfire sounds inviting and warm.
then i can hug both this dude and my baby, and say 'I LOVE YOU BOTH!' again.

do assignments,heyya.
stop caring about people who cares only about their life.
your life is more important.
start mugging,heyya.

♥ i have stopped counting the days and started living them ♥

with a laaa and a luuu

2009-12-18T22:35:00.002+08:00

i wanna scream.cos life officially sux for me.

and there are so many reasons why.

i wld love to tell someone

but i just cant find someone i truly trust.

i miss you,my soul.

2009-12-16T20:38:00.002+08:00

if i recall correctly,someone was supposed to blog about yst.

anyways,we had steamboat! like finally! and we ate so awfully much that my stomach was bloated by the end of the buffet.we had like black pepper fish,white fish,meat,chicken,cuttlefish,prawn (which is much better if soaked in tom yum soup!),tpm yum soup which contained sausages,fishballs,mussels,some dick-shaped stuff,maggie and loads of MUSHROOMS!! and to end it off,we had 3 and 1/2 scoops of icecream.all that for only $33.nonetheless, yst made me realise how much i love my sayang. seriously. i think through all the bad times and through all the good times,he would be the first person i would turn to.with him,i could just be myself.but im not sure if he would like that.

the steamboat was a blast but it was overwhelmed by the parting.

i am in KL now with Hajjar.

but deep in my heart,i cant wait to be home.

to be in the arms of my baby and to bask in the warmth of my family.

my room.my bed.my tv.my wardrobe.

i didnt realise their sentimental values until now.until i am away.

i miss bear bear.

i miss you,sayang.

i miss my family.

♥ can i cry now? cos now seems appropriate.cos it isnt ur fault.

quizzes make me feel high.

2009-12-12T01:44:00.002+08:00

I was tagged by KECIK to do this quiz.

1. Are you single?
A: nope.attached to the most wonderful guy in the world. (:

2. Are you happy?
A:loving every moment.

3. Are you bored?
A: yes.of mugging.seriously,when will it end?

4. Are you fair?
A: nope.but not dark either (:

5. Are you indian?
A: my granny is.does tat count?

6. Are you stupid?
A: yes.tat is why i retain cos im so stupid.all i did was have fun and forgot about my books.lol.

7. Are you honest?
A: depends.but definitely honest to my bf and my close frens (:

8. Are you irish?
A: if Irish gerls are hot and sexy,i wish!

9. Are you nice?
A: i can be when i wanna be (:

10.Are you asian?
A: a true white and red with a cresent and five stars Singaporean.

Ten facts.
Full name: Khairiyah
Nickname: Heyya
Birthplace: Singapore
Hair colour: natural=black.but im so loving the strands of gold!
Hair style: long and layered and oh oh! wavy!!
Eye colour: ask my boyfy.he should noe the best.
DOB: 31st July 1991
Mood: Thankful.
Favourite colour: wat i potray or the real ones? lol.potray=pink. real ones=ask my bf.
One place you wished to visit: VENICE!♥

This or That.
Love or lust: Love (and a little bit of lust)
Cats or dogs: Cats.(kittens.meow meow)
Best friends or regular friends: Best friends (with specks of regular friends)
Creamy or crunchy: Creamy with a crunch
Pencil or pen: pencil and pen.pencil for sketches and pen for permanent stuffs.
Wild night out or romantic in: a dash of wild night out with a seasoning of romantic in. (:
Money or happiness: they do interlink at some point,rite? lol.so both.
Night or day: day and night with loved ones next to me. (:
IM or phone: cant live without any.

Have you ever.
Been caught sneaking out: nope (:
Seen a polar bear: yes,anytime i want to,i just have to walk down the TV aisle of the best denki store at parkway parade!
Done something you regret: everyone has it.
Jumpin: totally! (:
Eat an entire Jaw breaker?: yeah! more than one baybe!!
Been caught naked: when i was young.sigh.those were the days lol.
Wanted bf back?: haha.yeah.lift doors close,press open.always wanted him back.
Cried because lost a person forever: a close fren.my best fren.
Wanted to disappear: yeah.especially when in despair.

Preference of love.
Smile or eyes: beautiful smile to match those beautiful eyes.
Light or dark hair: dark.sexy!
Hugs or kisses: cuddles and smooches!
Shorter or taller: taller than me.
Intelligence or attraction: a brainiac with looks.
Violent or pathetic: either way,i will love him no less (:
Older or younger: older.younger guys are a no no for me!
Outgoing or quiet: Outgoing but knows when to be quiet.
Sweet or bad: sugar and spice and everything nice!! rawr!! (:

i want my babitches to do it! and anyone who feels like doing it!

regret.it sux.

2009-11-30T00:17:00.004+08:00

take a turn.

drive faster than your limit.

dont look back.

focus on the future.

race towards it.

it will be worth it.

trust Him.

shayne ward is love!!

♥ im tired of the daily night arguements ♥

pocketful of depressant

2009-11-27T22:49:00.003+08:00

i am depressed for i am fat. ):

i am effing depressed.i swear.

it's bad when a gerl is like much much meatier than her boyfren.

it makes me feel fat whenever i stand beside him.it really affects my self-esteem and confidence.ive told him how ive felt but nothing's changed.and ppl are making comments like 'heyya.ur fat' or 'heyya,i will be amazed if salihin can carry you but i am not shocked that u can carry salihin.'

ok.

so i cant tell anyone how i feel.not even salihin.so when you are reading this salihin,just know that i have tried to tell you but it doesnt matter now and lets get one thing straight. i am so tired of listening to u saying 'b.u are not fat.even if you are,so wat?'.i have been telling you that it is irritating and before i break down,frigging stop.

i wish i could blame you for making me feel this way.i keep questionning why you are so thin etc.but nothing good ever comes out of it.so what if u are the cause of this depression? u are just gonna say that i dont love you for who you are and i am tired of arguing.i really am.

talking and promising changes nothing.

i really have had enuff of feeling fat around you.

everytime we are next to each other,i feel like i am hulk and you are pinky frm 'pinky and the brain' cartoon.

and i am so depressed i wish that i could just scream at myself.

they told me 'dont harm yourself.'

but too late,right?

everything could be avoided if only we knew how.

aneroxic or not.

i am doing this my own way.

advice me if you want.

i dont promise that i will heed your advice.

♥ i hate myself more now ♥

do it with LOVE

2009-11-27T00:09:00.005+08:00

innocence.a blissful thing.

ok.i wanted to blog and i thought i had an idea on what i wanted to blog.but then i kept typing and deleting and typing and now,i am so lost.lol.what i know is that i wanna have a picnic on either saturday after work or sunday.i wanna have the whole afternoon.then i have to go find balloons for MJ Open House.

since i have no idea what i wanna blog about.let me just wish all Muslims
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA!!
yok kita sembelih kambing,lembu dan unta! yum yum!

i have to wake up at 6.30 later to cook nasi briyani. (: and then work is at 10 till 2.then come home,i can eat! only abit but still,eat rice! ive waited for so long.too long.haha. and oh.ive gained weight. fml.im fat.

but anyways,here for my dude.

Baby life was good to me
But you just made it better
I love the way you stand by me
Through any kind of weather

I don't wanna run away
Just wanna make your day
When you feel the world is on your shoulders
Don't wanna make it worse
Just wanna make us work
Baby tell me I will do whatever

It feels like nobody ever knew me until you knew me
Feels like nobody ever loved me until you loved me
Feels like nobody ever touched me until you touched me
Baby nobody, nobody, until you

Baby it just took one hit of you now I'm addicted
You never know what's missing
Till you get everything you need, yeah

I don't wanna run away
Just wanna make your day
When you feel the world is on your shoulders
Don't wanna make it worse
Just wanna make us work
Baby tell me, I will do whatever

See it was enough to know
If I ever let you go
I would be no one
Cos I never thought I'd feel
All the things you made me feel
Wasn't looking for someone until you

♥ nobody nobody,until you ♥

salihin's lameness is rubbing off on me! HELP!!

2009-11-24T22:56:00.003+08:00

oh they are liberated,alright.but not us.not yet.
ms lai's talk was really a wake-up call.i am very scared right now.i wonder what wld happen if i would really waste this upcoming long holiday.and i dont even wanna think about it.
my J2s frens are actually forcing me to study now.i used to shove it off as laments until ms lai knocked me with reality.see how effective it is when ur principal talks to u.she does make sure we get it.

on a much happier note,i am prepared to embrace this life.with salihin,of course.
we hate the same ppl and we are ok with each other's close frens (: smiles!!!
yeah.that means buzz off,i-thought-you-were-my-fren person.

feeza told me to join this camp by 4PM.but it clashes with my sister's 21st bdae so i doubt i can go )': but i want.but i need to study.and ARRGGHH!lol.gg to KL and Genting with Hajjar.something to look forward to.and since all my frens will be free,they will be dating me! (:

when you know something's worth it,go for it.
when you want something,work towards it.
when you hate something,try to love it.
but when you try to love but still hate it,ignore it.

let me have my one post of self-admiration:
GOD! IM CUTE! (:
ok dah.told you when im too indulged in myself,it would be unbearable.
cos u noe i only speak the truth.

ok im gone.bye.

♥ love me or hate me,it's still an obsession.

you will always be my man.

2009-11-22T14:39:00.002+08:00

my bestfriend. my love. my one n only. my hero. my confidant. my companion.
no werds could ever complement the werds and love i have for you.
i love you.
i hope that those 3 werds will be sufficient for you to realise how much of an importance you are in my life.
i need you.
i hope these 3 werds will do justice to how much you mean to me.

i sleep like a baby.
with you as my blanky.
i wake like the sun- all glory and bright.
with you as my inspiration.

ur presents: bear bear,rose and lastly, u sang 'better man' cos u wanted me to love you with all my heart.

silly boy! i will always love you.

hehhs.now i noe how to get gifts.lol.

i love you.so much.

i swear.

cross my heart.

♥ 18th monsarry with you is love ♥

my bear bear-sweet saheyya (:

2009-11-13T12:14:00.002+08:00

yesterday, dated 12th November 2009, Salihin gave me Sweet Saheyya-my bear bear. this is the first bear he has ever given me. it is a pre-gift for our upcoming 18th monsarry.lol.but i dont wanna part withh bear bear so he had to give it to me. sry.

we went to Build-A-Bear Workshop at VivoCity. there,we chose my bear bear 'skin'.then we stuffed him. after stuffing him with the cotton,i hugged the bear to see if he was stuffed to my liking.next,I was told to rub a heart with my palms,then put it on my cheeks to feel if the heart is warm.then, i had to rub the heart against my cheek so that the bear will be as cheeky as me.then against my forehead,so that the bear will be as clever as me [ blunt future for my bear ): ]. then rub the heart against my stomach so that it will always be full and not hungry. and lastly,rub the heart against my ear so that the bear will always listen to be and be obedient [ again,i think he will be very rebellious and defiant ]..the frenly staff there then put his heart and id into my bear and stitched him up! (:

however,i had to determine the sex of my bear which i was confused.cos there was a pretty princess shirt.but i was just not sure.so Salihin decided that it was a boy. then he had to hug the bear and spin two rounds so that the bear will have his good looks. then we went to fluff him up and finally bought a sash which said 'i love you' to dress up my bear. before we could own him,we had to give him a name so i picked Sweet Saheyya. my bear bear will be sweet and it will contain our name. his birthday - 21st November 2009. and that was when his birth cert was printed out and he was out into the bear condo. i had to made the bear promise before Salihin paid for the bear and i became the proud mummy of bear bear,sweet saheyya. (:

i love him.i love both Salihin and bear bear. both mine. and i want it to stay that way.
thnk you sayang,for yesterday. i love you.

♥ p, i nak more bears from Build-A-Bear Workshop (: ♥

life is like a forest

2009-11-09T21:37:00.003+08:00

a perfect evening awaits a perfect night.

a perfect night awaits a perfect dawn.

a perfect dawn awaits a perfect day.

and a perfect day awaits a perfect evening.

life is a forest.

u are stuck in it but in your mind,you know that there is the exit-the exit which leads you to your home.

however,getting through that exit is ardous.

there might be bears,lions and tigers.

on the other hand,there will be butterflies,deers and birds.

life is a forest.

every step you make dictates if you are closer to the exit or not.

every step you make might be a pleasant/nasty surprise.

life is a forest.
it contains the river.that river is the side of you which is calm.it will always be there.just a matter of how willing are you to reach it.

as they say,follow a river and you will find your way out.the calm side of us will allow us to find the way out of every problem we are facing.-be rational.

life is a forest.

you get to enjoy the pleasant views.

yet it is balanced out by the unpleasant views.

you may experience calm sights but you may also experience nasty sights.

life is a forest.

don't you ever forget that.

it is the very essence why life is worthwhile.

at least to me.

patented by: Khairiyah Yusoff ♥

reassure me with warm embrace.

2009-11-09T00:52:00.003+08:00

my gut feeling is telling me to be prepared for another year of extreme-fatigue gruelling torment.i know i have to be prepared and strong and whatever nots but the question encircling my mind is if i am ready to accept the challenge. it was just days ago where we enjoyed the endless hopes of being able to pour attention and time on each other but now,it was like as if a bullet shot through it,leaving that very hopes to bleed.but i know it is no one's fault so i have to be prepared.and prepared i shall be.

salihin holding a tissue paper saying 'WORLD'S HANDSOMEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!! oooooo ( sarcasm )'

you are the very reason why i smile,dear.
i wonder what would happen if we are not together.

♥ many reasons to smile,they say.but i can only find one main reason ♥

say it.dont spray it.

2009-11-08T00:44:00.005+08:00

in a nychthemeron,everything will change.

that was what i used to tell myself until we were at loggerheads once again.but now,i am more submissive.trying to mentally prepare myself for the oncoming endeavours i will have to pave my way through to emerge triumph.

oh.i have this preposterous aim.i want to get to Oxford University.far-fetched.i know.

i barely scrape through my promos.but as the common tune of a saying goes:nothing is impossible.

but i know that eventhough A lvls will be the most pertinent yet most blatant benchmark in my life in a years' time,it will never be a measure of the intensity of my desire for wanting to be an Oxford graduate.and if i dont get into Oxford,i bet getting into an elite university would be an accomplishment which my parents would be proud of.

so i am going to smack my butt and gorge my eyes wide open and start to mug.

i wanna be an elite university graduate.if God permits,i wanna be an Oxford graduate.

i am going to work my ass off.call me crazy or whatever.but my heart deserves to attain the happiness that has been locked and shoved away for the happiness of others' like fornicated-up (Salihin taught me this.lol) 'frens'.

i wanna be freed of being looked down as someone who will never be able to clinch a place in the university.so i will go further.i wanna clinch for Oxford's.thus baby,i will train myself up so that i will be armed with a sharp sword and a steel armour to embrace As next year.

on another hand.three years in the future is the year we have noted down in our calendars-dear and me.we are going to make a major getaway.we are going to be liberated and will be able to sniff in the very essence of air which now seems to be depriving us of enticing adventures.there will be major talk about gifts and dates,if God permits (which i hope He will). then an adventure of a lifetime will begin.

if your heart is full of malignancy,do you cast yourself from others? i used to.but now,i am not afraid anymore.i know i am in the right for doing what i did.and boy,cant i wait for my ears to ring when i hear 'do you know what heyya did?'.especially from no-life people who have yet to probe into the incident further to get the whole story.

listening to only one side of the story can really be destructive.

♥ then it begins-my new life which definitely includes you,Salihin ♥

seranade me

2009-11-08T00:15:00.002+08:00

went Karoke today with dear.cldnt bear to cancel our date.he seemed sad.and since i was missing him like hell,i decided to meet him.we karaoked like we were pro.submerged into an oblivious world of our own-and this world entrusts us with the freedom to be who we really are.
i love you dear.i love your voice when you sing.i mean it.
then we went to East Coast but cloudy day means blocked sunset.
and we headed for Parkway Parade's Mc Cafe.
there we sat and talked and talked.
until we agreed on something. (:

jack johnson sings:

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart,
our dreams, and they are made out of real things
like a shoebox of photographs
with sepia-toned loving
Love is the answer
at least for most of the questions in my heart, like
Why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together

Mmmm, It's always better when we're together
Yeah we'll look at the stars and we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments
just might find their way into my dreams tonight,
But I know that theyll be gone
when the morning light sings
and brings new things
for tomorrow night you see
that theyll be gone too,
too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
i was somewhere in between
With only two,
Just me and you,
Not so many things we got to do
or places we got to be
We'll sit beneath the mango tree, now,

Yeah It's always better when we're together
Mmmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

mmmmmmm

I believe in memories
they look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
There is no, no song I could sing
and there is no combination of words I could say
but I will still tell you one thing
We're Better together

♥ we are better together ♥

i dont wanna talk about it

2009-11-07T15:54:00.004+08:00

i am hurt but i wanna be rational.so that was why i cancelled our date,dear.you are one hour late.and i dont wanna wait for anyone anymore.it's time i love myself more than i love anyone else.i need to think about my happiness.yes,this hurts but it will make me strong in the future so that i can overcome future hurts easily.haha.i really am trying to laugh and smile to prevent myself from crying.i hope it will work (:

it's ok.things will be better between us this way.

we wont argue and start cursing each other. (:

im hurt but i am never gonna let it hurt u.

♥ they say that love is just an excuse to get hurt ♥

despondent

2009-11-06T13:51:00.002+08:00

how would u feel when the one that you have been wiith through all his bad times leave you all alone?when you stood by him when his parents gave up on him.
you had faith in him when he/his parents didnt have.
but when he got what he wanted,he turned your back on you.
he even said u were the source of all his problems and you were the reason why he had been leaving a life of hell for a year and 6 months (the duration u were with him).

how would you feel?
how would you react?
what would you do?

if it's wrong to love him,i am guilty as charged.

2009-11-05T15:35:00.002+08:00

you know how you get all confused about who you really are?

and everything just seemed so vague at that point that you start to ponder?

i have.i was going through it.for the past couple of days.

but someone stood by me.carried me (literally) when i broke down and calmed me down with subtle words.

despite my efforts to run away from him,he still stalked me and stood a distance away just to keep a look out on me.

and yet,i wonder right now,just how could i be confused about his existance in life.

he was definitely the reason why i wanna be a much better person.no one truly deserved a better me than him-besides my family of course.

through it all,he was there.to receive what he got-the curses and the shouts.even the slaps.

but again,like a guardian angel,he stood by me to protect me.and that was why i wanna change for him.for us.

and just by those simple acts,i was reminded of how much i have always wanted someone like him.someone like Salihin and he is truly one in a million and someone which i will indeed treasure till the end of time.

♥ i wondered too long now i wonder why ♥

salihin + heyya

2009-11-04T00:32:00.004+08:00

"i couldnt see where i was or what my career was. where i was staying and what life i was living-it was all unclear.but only one thing remain constant. you. you were with me through it all. 10 years down the road,i will still be with you. that was what i saw."

"but what if u saw someone else instead of the one u are with now?"

"if that is the case,that means that she isn't the one for me and that i am wrong right now.but knowing that i see that as my future,i will work towards it."

and they wonder why i love you.

funny.

and they say we are not made for each other.

cos they are just jealous.

i love you salihin.screw free time.i love you so much.i need you.

and i promise you,you will always be the first to know my problems.

always and forever.

♥ u are the candle in the coldest night of my life ♥

my heart is dying to say this

2009-11-02T22:43:00.007+08:00

for some reasons,i am so confused about my life right now. i dunno what i want from my life anymore.i am just so damn confused. i dont wanna be forced into doing something that i cant get anything beneficial out of it. i wanna be liberated of this fear.i wanna have someone i can constantly count on to never make me feel alone.i wanna have frens i can rely on.i wanna be stronger.i wanna be dependent on myself and no one else.sigh sigh sigh.cos most of all,i noe i want to count on myself to make myself feel better when i am down.

i am so confused.at this point of time,i need a breather. i need time alone. i need to be alone. i wanna sort out my thoughts with no intrusion.without anyone by my side and only me there so that i can hear myself think.cos i realised if i have dear next to me,i will hear his thoughts instead of mine,everytime.

i know i have been caring too much about people's feelings that i tend to neglect mine and so many have told me that it was an unhealthy thing when you neglect yourself too much.and i really am confused.sigh.cos i dont wanna hurt anyone.and tat too at times is a wrong thing.and everytime i stand up for my rights,it seems like the biggest sin i could have ever committed.sigh.

i am not pushing anyone away and Salihin dear,i am not asking for a pause or whatever. i just need to be left alone at the beach on a day and with a notepad and pen in my hand,i wanna jot down about whatever i was thinking and every problems i am facing and work towards solving the problems.i just need to be alone to sort my thoughts out so that insya'allah,i will know just what i want to achieve in this life and what i can do in order to attain it. sigh.

cos at times,i just wish that by giving a huge sigh, your problems will all be gone.

♥ cos now i realise,i should love myself first ♥

high on this and these!

2009-11-01T23:29:00.005+08:00

TODAY was uber fun.like hands down fun! i went to East Coast with Salihin,my brothers- Boi and Krab, and Krab's fren, Aul. epic! i mean it!

so we went there to cycle and god,if only we weren't cycling,i swear at that very moment when we were under the orange sky,i would just get off my bike and thank Allah for it.it was beautiful.so we 5 cycled all the way to Bedok Jetty. there,i had the BIGGEST shock of my life! i was in between two timings! the full moon on my left and the setting sun on my right! COOL OR WAT?! hahahahahaha. and the best thing was i stood right in the middle of the bedok jetty pathway,spread my legs and shouted ' I AM IN TWO TIMINGS! A.M AND P.M! (pointing to my right and then my left)' of course it wasnt really a.m but u get it.sun.and moon.haha.then boi looked at me and said 'siak uhh.memalukan sia.hahha'. idiot! salihin didnt disagree! hmph! but it's ok! i had fun! it's a rare opportunity,ok!

then we cycled more.but after Aul and Krab exchanged Boi's spoilt bicycle to the shop.thnks to a fall by Aul's carelessness.haha.so while waiting for them,Salihin,Boi and me got ourselves drinks.thirsty,i swear.and when we had gathered together again,we cycled towards Changi.all the way until we reached Changi.ZO-MY-GOSH! again,like an idiot,when we had cycled back and was waiting for Boi and Aul to relieve themselves,i stood in between this distinct line and shouted ' I AM IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE! '..this time,Salihin responded.but again,with a laugh.but Krab's reaction was super mintak kena tampar! he super layankan my merepekness.ass...hahaha.but i ignored.know why? it was just like A Walk to Remember! hahaha..

then after the whole cycling thing,Aul went home and my brothers,Salihin and me went to MacDonald's and we bought so much food!but it was fun.especially anticipating what we would get out of the monopoly game token.hahaha.but what happened after that was even funnier. we went to the nearby funfair. there Boi wasted around $13 on this stupid token game.the one which grabs the teddy bears.haha.it was fun.we laughed so hard.super kecoh do! then we went to the small game area near the 7-11 and we played the futsal there. haha.krab & me against boi
& salihin.they won.so wat? hahaha.krab and me gave them chance.pitied them. (sore loser declaration).lol.and then we headed home.and that was it.

sigh sigh sigh.i love today.so much fun.i was high on euphoria! was and still am, i think.lol.i love my family and my boyfren so much! so much joy! yay! (: pictures are below.not much.but the last is in panorama mode.to show u the view at bedok jetty.lol.

salihin and me having fun with our shadows while waiting for Aul,Krab and Boi.

the panoramic view! i was in two timings! hahahahha

sweet dreams are made of these

2009-11-01T15:41:00.002+08:00

yesterday was simply fantabulous! my cousins were simply A-W-E-S-O-M-E.
i am missing them so much now.i really am.
they could take my mind off anything.they made me feel much better about myself.
i can't wait for the next gathering.

we called ourselves: Ayu & the Gang. simply because kak Ayu was the oldest amongst us. we stood as a whole big group,including Cik Jenal,and karaoked to the songs Ketahuan,Cari Jodoh and Wannabe (by Spice Girls) and before it ends, we sang Bye Bye Bye.classic fun! and i sang Endless Love with my mum.lol.

oh well.i love my family and what I wouldnt do to have them by my side right now.my chest is hurting like literally and they would care for me.i truly love them from the bottom of my heart.

Cik Aim owes me something (: he's like my favourite Uncle! and i am so glad to be able to catch up with him. ((:

Ayu & the Gang:
Ayu,Baby Mel,Aling,Nana,Heyya,Amirah,Warda,Krab,Aboi,Mamat,Tiara,Afiq and Cik Jenal.

on a random note:
try pronouncing these and this.teeth and thief.
see if u have a malay slang.like me.lol.

♥ harsh words hurt my feelings but silence breaks my heart ♥

will blog more 2mrw.

2009-10-31T23:48:00.001+08:00

selamat pengatin baru abg azman! ((:

will blog about it tomorrow.too tired.lol.
i love my extended family soo much!
i had fun (:

♥ cousins,aunties and uncles are loved by me ♥

triggered inuendos

2009-10-30T15:19:00.002+08:00

set upon me.bring in joy to me.

surround me with subtle warmth.

love me like you never have.

for the moon will be the witness.

i am so bored right now.so bored.he's at work and i wanna go out to east coast but i dont feel like it cause it just rained. i would wanna sleep but i dont want. i am so conflicted. i wanna read book but there isnt a strong force/urge for it.then there is another part of me tellling me to watch tv but what are the chances of a good program being on? if only 90210 was on. so yeap.i forsee myself to be very lazy today.i wont be leaving my room. i hope. will just meet him at 7.30 once he's done then maybe,just maybe, the laziness might wear off.but i hope not.haha.so tat i can just sit and talk to him and not walk around.trust me,walking around eunos is the upmost boring thing ever. dont ever try it.

♥ i think i should go do my prayers now ♥

the old me is the new me.welcome me.

2009-10-29T22:32:00.004+08:00

i would rate this movie a 5 out of a possible 5 stars for a very basic reason: it is touching.

to those avid fans,do watch this movie cum documentary.it will sweep u off ur feet and will really leave u pondering how a legend could leave this world too soon.

it is a 2 hr long movie.super worth it! and i can simply say that although the King of Pop has left us,he left behind a legacy to be remembered and to be nurtured in the upcoming generations.

if you dont love Michael Jackson, then you have no idea what you are missing.

so more about today..went to watch the movie with my sayang. i love him so much for taking time off his work just so he could watch this movie with me.i really love him so much. he always pamper me with so much. sushi and all. darling,i am gaining weight,thnks to u! i dont wanna be fat.i wanna be thin. think about the children in poverty-they have nothing to eat. dont you feel wrong feeding a well-built person excessive food? haha. dramatic and no link. but my point is: i would rather give up my food to those children then have it wasted.

sayang has been real nice the whole of today and yesterday.i have decided to put my trust in him. trust is the fundamental aspect in a successful relationship,no? plus,i dont wanna be arguing about stuffs and i will be riveted to my old self -take what you will and dont give back.yup.so to the gerl i hate,i really have forgotten about it.i dont wanna hold any grudges. i wanna redeem my old self cos i love my old self more..the old me used to lead a more carefree life not thinking about stupid stuffs.and i wanna enjoy my life to the fullest.so this is it.i am changing.i am gonna change.

i love salihin so much.and i am so grateful for his presence in my life.he may have brought about conflicts between us but nonetheless,this guy will always be the jewel in my heart. i love you and only you and no one can come close to that.cheers for the many days and nights together!now to knock off cos we both have work tomorrow. see you at 7.30pm baby. i love you.

♥ lets buy a caravan and travel the whole of America ♥

perfection isn't my forte.neither is it yours.

2009-10-28T00:46:00.002+08:00

there is this line which separates us and the world.

there is this other line separating me and him.

this line,

it is the cause of conflicts,anger,disappointment,sadness and at times,it dashes out hopes.

but have we ever considered that line to be a line of utter uniqueness?

or are we just too busy correcting others and wanting others to understand us that we got blinded from the fact that we should stop judging people from behind that line and embrace their differences into our world? and instead of hating them,we should just love them for who they are? accept them,perhaps?

a line of difference.

a line which will take centuries or even milleniums to eradicate.

much l♥ve,khairiyah yusoff

lave

2009-10-25T21:18:00.004+08:00

our love is as intense as ~~fire~~ lava.

Leo + Taurus

is the same as:
Fire + Earth and it = Lava

i have a confession.

i love being angry and i love being coaxed.

i love crying and i love being hugged.

i love staring into your eyes and i love being kissed.
i love saying 'i love you' and i love hearing 'i love you too'

♥ i love you still ♥

it's us against the world and i am fine with it.

2009-10-23T23:00:00.003+08:00

i have seriously had enough of haters and hypocrites. i have nvr truly hated anyone in my life before until i stepped into this JC life and until i got to know about your fucking existance.and i fucking hate you so much i wish there was a way i could hurt you back the way you hurt me! i swear i hate you so much.you wanna know why? cos you fucking think you are an angel.you fucking think that everyone likes you but i DONT! and i will fucking hate you till my death.you didn't even fucking apologise to me despite knowing you were wrong.i know this happened a year ago but still,think i fucking ignored the fact that you are a motherfucking one hell of a backstabber,hypocrite,egoistic bitch? well i DONT and i dont fucking intend to. so what if you are smiling at me and i can talk to you? your fucked up attitude of not even realising you were in the wrong disgust me so fucking much that your pretty face looks like shit. i wish i could curse you in your life but i wont cos i am afraid of karma.but i do noe this. it is because of you i lost my frens.it is because of you i hated this life.it is you who made me feel what is it like to hold a grduge against someone for the very first time.you always wanna be in the know about EVERYTHING.you would always meddle in affairs even if it does not involve you.that makes you a bitch.a whore.a slut.i fucking hate you.and i will forget about you one day,if i get to forget about this anger i have in you. i hate you.i really do. screw you. screw you so fucking much that i wish you have never existed. fuck you,bitch. fuck you and your life.

atleast i have a fucking reason why i hated her.but do you fucking haters out there have any fucking reason to hate me or isit due to gossips? idiot.no minds of your own.i fucking hate all of you.and i pray you guys will fucking go through the turmoil you guys put me through.

and P, you are right. it IS us against the world. and we will triumph,insya'allah.cos some ppl just think they are perfect that they find flaws in us but not in themselves. but although we are flawed,lets just improve on them and work towards having a much happy relationship instead of trying to please those insignificant beasts out there. i love you so much.

keep your trusted frens close.cos they will be there for you.they will catch you when you fall and understand the turmoil you are gg through and instead of being judgemental,they love you through it all.

♥ cos now,it is no longer about you asses out there ♥

palatable

2009-10-22T16:58:00.002+08:00

yesterday was splendid topped with whipped cream and a cherry.i love you (:
on another note,results are out. i love my class,everyone,and i am hoping as hell that everyone makes it through.i will pray for the best.i promise.

♥ baby you have been tolerable ♥

pluie

2009-10-21T14:47:00.003+08:00

When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes and you feel so far away

That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, once you say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And when the rain blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

♥ happy 17th monsarry,baby ♥

désolé

2009-10-18T23:10:00.002+08:00

sorry.
what does it mean to you?
mere saying or a genuine feeling?

i am not evil.no i am not.so i am going to forgive and forget but i am still going to see if you will change.1 month.~~$1oo will then be in my pocket.~~

funny how misery loves company.

♥ cos you promised but u broke my heart ♥

frēoġan

2009-10-18T11:06:00.003+08:00

i love morning jog! (: especially on a Sunday morning with someone you love at the place you love the most-East Coast Park.

it was like a bonding session and i believe that it is definitely a great start to a healthy relationship.now that we both are sure where we wanna put our both foot into,we are more determined to solve our problems together.thnk you dear (: for going jogging with me.

you are my motivation to run.you make my heart beats fast.

jogging every Sunday (: gym on weekdays that i am available and after i have renewed my Passion Card. i feel like i am gg to be fit. and not eating much. - i am sooo gonna lose weight! see.at least i am exercising already. now for the next important thing on my calendar-work.

i am soo tired and so sleepy but my tummy is very upset with me. (sa,geddit geddit?lol).ok. i am getting super lame thnks to my boyfren.haha.

♥ afterall,renewing your vows and promises to each other is important ♥

pertinent; self-explanatory

2009-10-17T23:02:00.006+08:00

GGREEAT & FANTABULOUS NIGHT!! after pb visited his VS's teacher's hse for Raya,he met me and we went to Bugis J.Co. we brought our books (mine is The Memoirs of Cleopatra and his is Equal Rights),thinking that we should just chill and read but that supperrr did not happen and we ended up camwhoring. yes.with my hp which explains the grains on the pictures. but nonetheless,i love it.we took 74 pictures but i can only afford energy to upload 10 pictures.super sleepy and excited about gg to East Coast to jog tomorrow morning.yay! (: and oh,if u hate the pictures we took,fuck off.i mean it.

i loook FAT in the above pic.god!

♥ cos now we know that people's opinion is tertiary ♥

tranquil

2009-10-17T15:56:00.004+08:00

the world is beautiful.it is a creation beyond words set forth for us by our God (which ever God your faith lies in). but humankind ripped it off its beauty.

Salar de Uyuni and Venice.

Kashmir,if conflict has ceased,even.

The most breath-taking places you could ever wish you were there to enjoy every single sunrise and sunset.

♥ cos God gives us tests to test our faith in Him ♥

promettre

2009-10-16T22:03:00.007+08:00

today we went to East Coast to mark the end of Salihin's Islamic Birthday (27 Syawal).
Selamat Hari Jadi,sayang. (:

have i told you i love the universe-the Sun,the Sky,the Stars,the Moon,the Nebulae,the Planets etc?ahhh..love ♥

the pictures below (in sequnce) show how the sky looked like as Mr Sun was about to set.
scroll down and watch the magic happen. don't refrain yourself from falling in love with the pictures-the sky is definitely pretty.
pay close attention to the last three pictures.they managed to capture the three strikes of happiness shone by the Sun.

i love the dance (: i really truly do. this day made us realise why we love each other and how much we love each other. i cant wait for 21st.♥

and on your Islamic 19th Birthday,may all your wishes come true
and you forever remain cheerful and adorable. (haha.im mean,i know)

to ensure your happiness, i will cherish every part of you.
cos i need you in my life.
thank Allah i found you.
we were destined to shine.
i love you,salihin.i promise you.♥

insouciance

2009-10-15T21:10:00.007+08:00

i miss us and farah so much,tears welled up in my eyes when i recalled how much fun we had when we had each other.

i remember msging 'hey sexy' to farah.plan was to prank her but she caught me in the end because when she tried to call,the three of them (shefah,feeza and syaz) looked at me.and before long,we all burst into a moderate volume laughter.thank god it was a moderate volume laughter cos when we realised we were in a masjid,we immediately sniggered while reminding ourselves to shut up.then we camwhored.god.it was just too beautiful.a sad thing it had to end.but nonetheless,my life is blessed to have met them.no doubt.

i hope to meet up with u guys soon..cos cross my heart,i love you guys.
and i totally miss the other pre-u sem mates too..
we sooo have to do a meet up. (:

♥ i see a good change in you cos you are no longer indifferent ♥

*sprinkle wishing dust and ur wish will come true*

end of 2010

alhamdulillah

harry isnt hairy

no no no!!

who is

you're changing.im glad (:

LXD! :D

i still get the thrills from you

beeping mr salihin.mr salihin plz.

how?

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

oh no!!!

contemplations

boys II men - on bended knees

angles without wings

betrayed beautifully.

too soon

inside out

trademarked.

my baby you.

i'm trying

than k you!

6 peaches and 1 herb

take a look at me now.

my dictionary says:

s o l o

so kiss me and smile for me.

my everything is you,love

is your side deep?

i've made a final vow.

the cranberries is awesome!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NSzwflkF3w

i love salihin

sycophant

on cloud nine and staying.

too mouthful for the huge

u-me=blue

a fu

read my eyes.

let's fight!

buckcherry sang sorry.what's your song?

poems and me

14022010

history at its peak.

help?

i wanna sleep,o'so pwetty pweeze!!

chi-squared

poshie love

the best there is

air supply is love!

2010.school.life.

my decisions are the causes of my mishaps

office work is funny.seriously.

i-love-you-and-you

with a laaa and a luuu

i miss you,my soul.

quizzes make me feel high.

regret.it sux.

pocketful of depressant

do it with LOVE

salihin's lameness is rubbing off on me! HELP!!

you will always be my man.

my bear bear-sweet saheyya (:

life is like a forest

reassure me with warm embrace.

say it.dont spray it.

seranade me

i dont wanna talk about it

despondent

if it's wrong to love him,i am guilty as charged.

salihin + heyya

my heart is dying to say this

high on this and these!

sweet dreams are made of these

will blog more 2mrw.

triggered inuendos

the old me is the new me.welcome me.

perfection isn't my forte.neither is it yours.

lave

sprinkle wishing dust and ur wish will come true